Fragile Tranquility

It Baffles The Mind

2010-02-11T15:21:00.002-07:00

Do you like metal? What KIND of metal you say? Why, HEAVY METAL of course! Anyways, if you do, Priestess came out with a new album recently (Oct. 20th in Canada, Feb. 2nd in the US), entitled Prior to the Fire. It is AWESOME. Nothing against their debut album, Hello Master (2005) but Prior blows it out of the water. They have improved hugely, no jokes. The new album has a much more obvious Thrash sound, but still maintains a nice classic heavy metal sound that I think will appeal to fans of hard rock as well. The lyrical content is interesting, ranging from a song about werewolves to... RoboCop and Dragonball Z... I can't really say I have a favourite track, as they're all really good, but if I was forced to choose, it would be "Communicating Via-Eyes". Or "Sideways Attack". Or "Ladykiller". See? Too many good tracks.
(My rating - 4.5 out of 5)

Here's the video for "Ladykiller". It's odd. But I dig it.

How To Report the News

2010-01-29T00:19:00.001-07:00

Found via Neatorama.

First blog post of the year

2010-01-16T04:15:00.002-07:00

And why? Because I got mention in the most prestigious newsletter of our time. I've been visiting b3ta for approximately 1 million years now, so this is a big deal for me.

Scroll down a bit, it's towards the bottom under the 'What Happened Next?' heading. It's also about home remedies for curing the trots, so if the word 'shit' offends you... well, shit.

Honestly, I dont have much else to say. So... carry on...

Hard to be soft...

2009-12-18T06:04:00.002-07:00

this is, currently, my favrit song. It's an accoustic version, which I prefer, but there is an album version out there with a little bit more jump to it if that's what you're into.

Can you believe how close we are to christmas?! Holy hell! Merry Christmas, anyways.

Any Way The Wind Blows...

2009-12-04T03:40:00.002-07:00

I HAVEN'T BLOGGED IN AGES!!!

2009-11-01T21:58:00.001-07:00

Paint by Numbers of the Beast: Possibly the cleverest thing I ever came up with.

I was bored again.

2009-10-28T03:56:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure if it's funny, but I found these screencaps of Commander Riker, and I knew something had to be done with them.

Vaca

2009-10-23T14:19:00.005-06:00

Finally got some pictures from my vacation up.

Here's me with a giant Pysanka.

Here's me with a giant sausage.

Here's me in a lake.

Exciting, no?! No.

Anyways, if you want to see more pictures, go here. It's not that special, mainly pictures of family and stuff. I also took a buttload of cemetery pictures. So if that's your thing, go here to see them (as well as some of my older cemetery stuff).

Ooh, that's dirty!

2009-10-17T05:07:00.002-06:00

You. Must. Watch. This.

Not for kids. Or parents. Maybe not a good idea if you're at work either.

Ramming Stone

2009-10-15T03:36:00.003-06:00

I've been on a bit of a Rammstein kick lately, and it's been a while since I blogged, so I figured I'd share some of my favourite songs/videos, since I've got nothing else interesting going on. These 3 songs, I think, really show Rammstein's range and power.

Rosenrot, from the album Rosenrot.

Mein Teil,from the album Reise, Reise. Something a little harder.

Lastly, Ohne Dich, also from the album Reise, Reise. The lyrics of this song (which itself translates as 'Without you') are really quite sad. Take the first verse...

Ich werde in die Tannen gehen
Dahin wo ich sie zuletzt gesehen
Doch der Abend wirft ein Tuch aufs Land
und auf die Wege hinterm Waldesrand
Und der Wald er steht so schwarz und leer
Weh mir, oh weh
Und die Vögel singen nicht mehr

Translated...

I'm going to go into the fir trees
There where I last saw her
But the evening is throwing a cloth upon the land
and upon the ways behind the edge of the forest
And the forest it is so black and empty
Woe is me, oh woe
And the birds sing no more

Back.

2009-10-03T06:38:00.001-06:00

and look what I made.

Quitting time.

2009-09-17T21:41:00.003-06:00

131 Canadian soldiers have now been killed in Afghanistan. Originally I had planned a long, ranting blog post about this, filled with profanity and a few slurs for good measure. I actually had most of it written out before I decided to scrap it. All I want to say, really, is that it's time for Canada to get out of Afghanistan. I know this seems really mild, and not much of an argument, but I'm sure my friends know how I really feel.

Anyways, I'm going on vacation. The missus and the dog and I are headed off to Saskatchewan to take it easy for a week. I'll have lots of pictures and hopefully a good story or two when I get back.

Bang!

2009-09-13T02:27:00.002-06:00

I downloaded the new version of iTunes, and it came with Safari. So I tried it out. Safari sucks. F*ck you, Apple.

Anyways.

Random Thought Of People Our Age. So true. So awesome.

Hm. I'm sure I had more but seem to have forgotten it. I think I'm getting old. For instance, I stopped drinking at 6am and was still hungover at midnight. Thing is, I barely drank anything. The only good thing is it was alcohol I'd mooched off of other people.

Yawn.

To make up for the last post...

2009-09-03T13:45:00.001-06:00

Aaaaaaaaaaaaw!

This is seriously the weirdest thing you will ever see.

2009-08-30T03:46:00.000-06:00

Ever.

Die Walkure

2009-08-26T01:12:00.003-06:00

Haven't done a movie review in a while. How about now?

Valkyrie (2008)
I really really enjoyed this film. Even though it got a little slow at a few points, and I totally knew what was going to happen, it actually was quite suspenseful. That being said I don't think I really need to get into the plot, seeing as how it's historical. But the plot was good. I thought the acting was excellent, even though some of the Germans had English accents and some didn't, which was more funny than distracting. There was a surprising amount of talent in the cast that I wasn't aware of before I watched the movie (Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Eddy Izzard, Terence Stamp, the list goes on). Even Tom Cruise was tolerable. I find I can watch his movies as long as I don't think about him being Tom Cruise in real life. Anyways, movie was good, watch it if you haven't already, tell me what you think.
My Rating - 4 out of 5.

P.S. Do you think that guy who played Major Remer is tired of playing Nazis yet? (Look him up, you'll figure it out.)

Blog from right now.

2009-08-18T02:48:00.002-06:00

This has been my life lately. I'm like 450 pages in. Other than that I've been trying to hang shelves with little success. And watching TV, since we got cable. Right now I'm watching Pulp Fiction. That is all.

Tragically Un-hip

2009-08-06T02:54:00.004-06:00

Crystal and I went to see The Tragically Hip on August 5th. Howsabout you lookit some pitchers?

This is Kathleen Edwards, who opened for the Hip. The fellow in blue is Jim Bryson, who played keyboard for the Hip later in the night.

As you can see, most of these photos are of Gord. Actually the only one I wasn't able to get a decent photo of was the bass player, AKA the Other Gord. Hah.

This was my favourite photo that I took all night (Crystal took some of these). Too bad his strumming hand is blurry. Oh well.

Anyways, the concert was really good, possibly even one of the best I've ever been to (except for the usual concert-going assholes). They played pretty much every song I had hoped they would (including Bobcaygeon, my favourite). It really was a perfect night for an outdoor concert.

Funny Story: All night, Gord was wiping his face with these little white towels and then tossing them to the audience. They played Little Bones (Crystal's favourite tune by them) for the encore, and just as they were finally leaving the stage he tossed his last white towel and it miraculously landed right in Crystal's hand. Really just an excellent concert experience.

Braaaaainz

2009-08-03T17:49:00.003-06:00

Boredom + Severe dislike of Chad Kroeger = This abomination. I got bored before I could do a background. I also realize it's odd for a demon zombie to have perfect salon hair.

The Jokah

2009-07-28T05:32:00.003-06:00

Guess what I finally learned how to do?

iBlogd

2009-07-24T02:52:00.004-06:00

A new comic I've been reading. It's 18+, and I could probably do without the talking cactus, but its all fun.

Girls With Slingshots: Because I'll read anything Jeph Jacques tells me to!

I bought an iPod today. I feel... sullied.

First Woman Reclining?

2009-07-23T00:16:00.002-06:00

Another fun game for y'all to play:

Red Remover

That's all for now. I know it's nothing exciting, but I feel I haven't been blogging enough lately, so I figured I'd better give you something. For now I'm gonna go watch Last Man Standing, which is very underrated in my opinion.

The awesome is strong with this one.

2009-07-19T03:11:00.005-06:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Flash Blog

2009-07-16T16:09:00.002-06:00

I'm in a hurry, as I'm off to see the new Harry Potter tonight. So play these games.

Monkey Kick Off - My top score was 4678.
Crush The Castle - The best part is making your own castles.

Also, don't forget that I'm making comics again. Please make me happy and read them.

Read Free or Die

2009-07-02T14:44:00.003-06:00

Well I suppose now is as good a time as any to tell you all I've started making webcomics again. They aren't as detailed as the old ones (if anyone even remembers them) and they're more of a one-panel gag deal, but with time and practice I intend to get better. So if the crappy drawing throws you off, please just bear with me for a while. There are only a few online as of yet, but you can see the new comics here or here. I personally think the first link is a better layout, and the system used to manage the comics is much more user friendly, but maybe eventually I'll get the hang of the second one.

On the topic of comics, here are some I've been reading lately.

Johnny Wander by Yuko Ota & Amranth Panagarlya
Ellerbisms by Marc Ellerby
Thingpart by Joey Alison Sayers
DAR: A Super Girly Top Secret Comic Diary by Erika Moen (this one is 18+ and has a lot of lesbians in it, so don't read if that offends you.)
Pictures For Sad Children by John Campbell

Good stuff!

My dad is getting married in 3 days. It's strange for me because my dad has been single for like a bajillion years. But if he's happy, I'm happy. Also, weddings are always a good excuse to get liquored up.

Kilty

2009-06-25T15:39:00.003-06:00

So one of the exciting things that happened during this most recent bout of not-updating-the-blog is that my wife Crystal and I attended the Grande Prairie Highland games on June 14th. We ate meat pies which I'm quite certain were made with lamb (though Crystal denies this). We watched the sheepdog trials (our favourite was a dog named Tank). We watched a few of the games but there was only a handful of athletes so it was kind of unexciting, and only one guy managed to turn the caber. We watched a little bit of the dancing, but that was mainly so I could get photos. It was a good excuse for me to wear my kilt. All in all it was a good time.

Here's a video of the Grande Prairie Pipes and Drums

And you can see some photos here.

And then I got tattoos on the 16th of June. Word of advice: If you're going to get both of your kneecaps tattooed at the same time, make sure you take some time off work.

Vagueries of vagueness

2009-06-20T03:24:00.002-06:00

So yeah, I actually have something on the go, just waiting until it gets into full swing before I unveil it to the world, so stay tuned for that.

Also working on something else, so stay tuned for that as well.

Just please don't abandon me.

Flo

2009-06-08T06:07:00.004-06:00

Let's start with the sad stuff and then move on to the cool stuff so we can all leave in a good mood.

I feel bad for forgetting to mention in my sad blog post from a few days ago that my wifes cousin was lost in a river last month, and that a 14 year old girl in my hometown was murdered in September. Like I said, a weird, sad year.

Now for the cool.

I'm sure everyone else in the known world has already heard this song, but I never heard of it until my brother sang it at karaoke one night, and then I heard it again today in a CD store. I think it's pretty awesome, and surprisingly deep for how ridiculous the lyrics seem. I am a bit miffed they disallowed embedding, but anyways.

Handlebars - Flobots

ate bit

2009-06-06T15:05:00.005-06:00

Two posts in one day? Madness!

Please enjoy the ridiculously-more-talented-than-I-will-ever-be Hexachordal as he covers The Magnetic Fields tune "All My Little Words" with the help of a Gameboy.

Edit: Forgot to mention i found this via b3ta. Oops.

Complete

2009-06-06T04:51:00.003-06:00

I figured yesterday's post was too deep so I better flip it 'round with something funny. I've been playing The Force Unleashed for the past few days, and the Emperor's dialogue made me think of a Family Guy clip from way back.

I probably watched this 20 times yesterday and laughed like a bastard every time.

P.S. The game is fun even if the controls are frustrating and the camera sucks. The story is good and it has pretty decent re-playability. I recommend it.

Strange Days, These Days

2009-06-05T06:09:00.004-06:00

Sorry for the gap between updates, been busy lately.

I really don't have much interesting to say, I just wanted to comment on the strangeness of the past year or so. I realized yesterday that the year has been rather (depressingly) weird, when I heard David Carradine had died. As of right now his death is still under investigation, but I personally can't imagine him having taken his own life.
A childhood friend of mine fell from his skateboard on Sunday and died in hospital on Monday, surrounded by his loved ones. My clearest memory of Lance is when he taught me the F-word, and I think I'm still in shock from his sudden passing. Is it wrong of me to think his family was lucky to be there when he went?
Dom DeLuise died on May 4th, one day after my brother commented "You don't hear about Dom DeLuise much these days." (Or something like that). Similarly, I was reading the Wikipedia article about Bea Arthur the day before she died on April 25th.
My uncle Robert died of a heart attack on March 9th at the age of 51, with no real previous indications that he may have been ill. We were all struck by the suddenness of it, I myself being quite shaken. I'm not sure if it was because I lived with him for a few months after graduating or if its because I realize my own father, his brother, is 48 this year. Time does go by.
Going back into 2008, Michael Crichton died of throat cancer in November. You might remember a little story he wrote about a park full of freaking awesome dinosaurs. Or ER, whatever.
Even further back, over a year ago, the tragic death of Heath Ledger, my feelings about which I have already expressed.
So has this year (and more) really been that depressing and tragic? Have other years been the same? Am I just noticing more because I'm getting older, and thinking about my own mortality?
Hmm. Strange days indeed.

Anyways, I promise the next post wont be such a downer, and hopefully I'll have some news about my next project for you. Stay tuned.

Nepeta

2009-05-18T13:36:00.003-06:00

I've been meaning to do some restaurant reviews ever since we moved to GP. Last night my wife and I, as well as our acquaintance Jon, tried out the Catmint Teahouse & Martini Bar, so I figure now is as good a time as any. So here goes.

The Food
Seeing as how we are all uncultured slobs, and didn't recognise many of the items on the menu, we just orderd a dinner for three and hoped for the best.
Egg and Tomato soup - A nice flavour, but I don't like tomatos and the mushy shredded egg threw me off.
Dutch Beans - Actually snow peas. Not sure if that was just some engrish on the menu or if dutch beans is an actual alternate name for snow peas. Anyways, they were really tasty and had a really nice savoury garlic flavour.
Chicken and Shelled Shrimp Chow Mein - There was chicken and shrimp in this? Other than the tiny amount of meat, it was really tasty. I'm a big fan of chow mein in general though.
Brazed Pork in Sweet Sauce - Usually I hate sweet food (sweet is for candy, not meals) but I actually quite enjoyed this. The sauce was more smokey than sweet in my opinion, so that may be why. The meat itself was not the highest quality, with a fair bit of fat and gristle.
Steamed Jazmine Rice - What it says on the label.
(Food Rating - 3.5 out of 5)

The Drinks
I didn't get a chance to try the tea, so I'll have to try and remember to blog about it the next time. We sampled about 10 different kinds of martinis, which is probably why I don't recall all of the names of them. I don't really enjoy classic martinis, though I can understand how one could aquire a taste for them. A few of the variations I could see myself trying again, but a lot of them just weren't that memorable.
(Drink Rating - 2.5 out of 5)

The Service
Could have been better, speed wise, but they were friendly and very helpful in suggesting food and drink items for us to try.
(Service Rating - 3 out of 5)

The Environment
The decor was nice, a combination modern style (lots of frosted glass) and the usual knicknacks you usually see in chinese restaurants. It was rather quiet while we were there (keeping in mind we were there from 8:00 - 10:30 on a sunday night), and we only saw I think 7 other patrons. They chose to use modern hits for background music, which I could have done without but I'm sure a lot of other people would enjoy (I'm just not a huge fan of Soulja Boy Tell'em while I partake in fine food). I did notice a bit of a cold draught, but were seated next to the door, and it's always windy in GP.
(Environment Rating - 3.5 out of 5)

I really enjoyed myself, the food was good, and next time I'll be trying the tea. That being said, I do recommend you try out Catmint Teahouse & Martini Bar, but bring a little extra cash if you want to sample the martinis: they range from $4.95 to $12.00. If you know your way around Grande Prairie, Catmint is right next to KFC on 100th. If you don't know GP, find someone who does.
(Overall rating - 3.25 out of 5)

Blog Posts for Bored Bloggers

2009-05-13T02:58:00.003-06:00

I'm trying to stop using my twitter for stupid banal crap. Because really, who gives a shit what I had for dinner? Unless it was really good, I guess. That's probably as noteworthy as anything else I would write about.

I've recently started reading two new comics. Pictures for Sad Children is by John Campell and is one of those ones that isn't neccesarily intended to be funny (or it is intended to be funny, in which case maybe it just fails miserably.) Ellerbisms is by Marc Ellerby and is pretty much what I would want my webcomic to be like if I ever start up again. I can't recall how I was introduced to these strips, but they are good and you should give them a spin.

I had a bunch more stuff written down here, but then blogger decided to be a big DB, and I had to until the next day to actually publish. In that time I decided what I had written here wasn't so great, so I'l just leave it for another day.

P.S. I had chinese food for lunch.

What the hell is a 'Chuzzle' anyway?

2009-05-03T23:46:00.002-06:00

Need to waste a few minutes? Go play Chuzzle. It's similar to games like Bejewelled but like 100X more fun and challenging.

Some videos to share with you tonight.

This first one gets good at about the 1:00 mark, so just skip or put up with the first bit.
Does anyone else...? I mean, is it wrong that I...? Uh. Nevermind.

This second video is not recommended for those who are afeard of clowns.

Traveling Love

2009-04-26T20:50:00.004-06:00

I looked at Adam Sandler's Twitter feed. It was just a bunch of shitty quotes from his own movies. If it is infact Mr. Sandler updating it, or even if it's just his representation, it's pretty pathetic.

I've jumped on the humourous anagram bandwagon. I couldn't find a good one for Fragile Tranquility (damned 'Q'), but Roundabout Expressway gave me a wikkid idea for a new alter ego: Suey Pawn, Sex Troubador.

It's been almost an hour since I wrote that last paragraph. I just learned that Bea Arthur died. Then I started reading about Gladiators for some reason. Weird.

Gah! Got distracted again by B3ta. And perogies. Delicious, delicious perogies. Mmm.

Beefy pt. 2: The Update

2009-04-25T01:25:00.003-06:00

As I mentioned in the last post, I'd combined the remains of the pepto candle and the rest of the blue stuff. Here it is, all melty like.

Here it is in the energy drink can mold, and immediately after being removed.

Looks pretty good, right? Well, on closer inspection, it appears that someone ate a bunch of pink and blue cotton candy, then threw it up in a can. Once again, the dye didn't melt. Most of it settled to the bottom, and what remained speckled the candle rather garishly. I also managed to slice my fingers all to hell when I removed it from the can. It burned fine though. But as you can probably see, I need to work on centering my wicks.

I decided to pour another candle in this method, only without any additives. I wanted to see if it would sputter less, or stink like burning fat. Turns out it burns the same, and doesn't smell like anything at all. I also didn't cut myself this time. I think that may be because the can was slightly wet when I poured the tallow, and the tiny ammount of water that coated the can assisted in the removal.

So endeth the Beef Tallow Candle Adventure. I might try a few more, and maybe even go buy some beeswax (though it is hella expensive) just to try it out. I'm not sure what I'll do with the rest of my fat (I only used up about 1/4 of what I rendered). Maybe try and make soap, if I can get ahold of some lye. I've got some other stuff I want to try first, though, so I may just freeze it and leave that for another day.

Be sure to check out the first part of this adventure. If anyone has any questions, or would like to share their own candle making stories, feel free to comment.

Beefy

2009-04-23T13:26:00.005-06:00

Anyone who knows me knows that when I say I'm gonna do something, it's gonna get done. A few weeks ago, while wondering what to do with some excess hamburger grease, I decided I wanted to learn how to make beef tallow candles. I ended up having to get fat scraps from a local butcher shop because we don't cook enough beef, it turns out.

Because I didn't think I'd be blogging about it, I forgot to get pictures of the fat rendering process. There are a few different methods, I went with the 'chop-it-up-and-fry-it-then-drain-it' method. I then boiled the liquid fat to purify it. After refrigeration, this is what the final product looked like.

Nice, creamy white tallow! I ended up with about 8 pieces like this, some a little larger.

Using a pouring pot (you can get these at any craft store in the candle-making section) in the double-boiler style, I began to melt the tallow. If one was adding fragrance or dye, the second photo would be the time to do that. I declined to do so with this batch.

I had also purchased a candle mold (also available at any craft store). This is what the prepared mold looks like. I won't go into much detail here because they come with instructions, and in the end I didn't use this mold anyways.

As I was all by my oneseys while doing this, it would have been difficult/dangerous for me to try and get photos of the pouring of the tallow. Here is the filled mold, and again after cooling some.

This is where things went wrong. This mold is designed for use with wax (beeswax, paraffin, soy, etc.) There are significant differences between wax and tallow. Even after cooling for hours, the candles refused to leave the mold. After 3 attempts I got frustrated and I may have sworn a little bit. Maybe. Anyways, I decided to try something different, and used the bottom of a paper milk carton as a mold instead. I also figured that since I was no longer using a traditional method, I'd throw in some colour (red) and scent (apple blossom). Because I was pissed off I once again forgot to get pictures.

Here is the candle after being removed from the mold. It turned out pink, as you can see. Like, pepto bismol pink. Even though I used (what I thought) was extra dye. I made another mistake here, by putting the mold in the freezer. As soon as I removed the candle it cracked in half. I decided to just go for it anyways.

Since Crystal was home now, I enlisted her help in lighting the candle while I got photos. She burned herself with the lighter, flinched, and brought her hand directly down on the candle...

After some more cussing, we decided to light it anyway. This was one of the few things that worked out. Despite a little bit of sputtering, the flame burned clean. There was none of the black smoke our foul stench I had been warned about. After burning for a while, another crack formed and a lot of the tallow spilled out, so I decided to extinguish the flame before things got too messy.

Immediately after I was sure the candle would work, I poured another one. This time I used blue dye and rain forest fragrance. It turned out a pastel blue colour, even though I used even more dye than in the previous candle, and it had a bit of a speckled appearance. I think the problem may have been that I didn't allow the dye to melt thoroughly enough before pouring. You can see this candle in action at my daily photo blog.

For my next attempt, I combined the remains of the pink candle and the rest of the blue wax (and even more dye). Since I wrecked my paper mold removing the blue candle, I had to find a new mold. I decided to go for an energy drink can, though removing the candle may be a bit tricky this time. I'll update soon.

Read the rest of this story here.

Schlomo

2009-04-19T04:36:00.000-06:00

This just ridiculous.

Frollick

2009-04-12T19:34:00.001-06:00

And so the blogger fell in love with himself.

2009-04-05T01:35:00.003-06:00

I watched Twilight today.

It was really, really, bad. Just. Oh. So bad. Like. Well, this is more of a description of the novel than the film, but other than the horrible acting and bad special effects, it is pretty much Twilight In A Nutshell.

The acting was, indeed horrible. Kristen Stewart (as Bella Swan, a gag inducingly gothic romance inspired name) occaisionally attempts to make her "acting" seem natural by stuttering, but really it's just forced and stupid. She actually seemed to show some talent in Into The Wild (2007), so this was really just a big dissappointment on her part. Robert Pattinson, I just refer to as Edward Cullen all the time now (as in "Oh look, Edward Cullen played Cedric Diggory") because really, who the f*ck is Robert Pattinson? Anyways, Edward Cullen can't act either. Supposedly he didn't have a dialect coach to help him speak with an american accent, so maybe thats why most of the time he sounds like he's got a mouth full of marbles.

The rest of the acting was equally crappy and unmemorable. All of the other vampires just reminded me of that other abomination Queen of The Damned. What a pile of crap that was. But that's another post.

I can understand the appeal of the books and the film among 15 year old girls, because it is extremely juvenile. And girly. I just don't get how women in their 20s are falling in love with a character from a novel (who, by the way, is rather ugly in the film. I do a pretty good impression, though. I call it my 'Edward Cullen.' Brow furrowed, lips slightly parted, head tilted foreward. No real facial expression or animation. Oh yeah, thats how I gets the ladies.)

Crystal is attempting to read the series and continues to fall asleep. I got about 80 pages in before I gave up in disgust.

Watch the film if you must. Read the book, it's probably better for your brain. But be warned. Both suck. So very bad.

(My Rating of both the novel and the film - 0.5 out of 5)

Quickie

2009-04-03T13:50:00.002-06:00

I enjoy this song. I heard it last night on CBC radio. It's by Canadians. Please, won't you have a listen?

Fool's Gold Rope - The Violet Archers

That is all.

Oh My Frick.

2009-04-01T00:15:00.009-06:00

I have, at last, submitted to the will of Trend. Oh my frick, I got twitter. Just like every other arsehole what has Internet. You can see it there on the right, in the sidebar. I've decided now that I'm supposed to 'tweet' (what a stupid pretentious phrase) every day, I should make more of an effort to update the ol' blog (also a stupid pretentious phrase, when you think about it). So here I am, with an update!

My wife and I have moved to a new place. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever mentioned we moved to a new town last summer. Come to think of it, I don't know if I ever mentioned we got married. Anyways, rent and bills are huge now, and we have a lot of empty space. But it's our empty space, and they're our bills. It feels good to be on our own finally as a married couple. With, of course, our dog Max. Wait, did I ever mention we had a dog?

What's new, what's new, what's new... I'm sure I've seen a dozen or so movies that I could review since the last time I posted. Really, I haven't seen anything recently enough for it to still be fresh in my mind, so we'll leave that for another day. I will mention one movie: Watchmen. Go see it. If you've read the comic book, if you haven't read it, if you hate superheroes, if you love them, go see it. I personally don't think it strayed that far from the comic book, (especially not compared to X-Men and the like) though others would disagree fiercely. Be warned, though, there's a bit of violence. Okay, a lot of violence.

Other than moving (and making a short trip home for a funeral) I've just been up to the usual. Readin' webcomics and takin' pictures (which, by the way, you should go look at on my other blog). Also, I've been engrossed with WhatIfSports.com, a fantasy league site with a twist. You can make a team of pretty much any athlete who ever played in a professional league (NHL, MLB, NBA, or NHL) and pit them against other player's similarly composed teams. You can have a whole team of Gretzkys if you want (and if your salary cap will allow it). Since the only sport I like is hockey, I usually just play the NHL. Since I suck at building a winning team, I usually just build teams of thugs and see how many penalties I can rack up. Anything less than 100 penalty minutes and 3 ejections per game, I consider a loss. You can try for free, and its not too expensive if you decide to buy a season.

So did you notice that up there I referred to Watchmen as a 'comic book'? What are you gonna do about it, huh? Even Allan Moore calls it a comic book. Of course, he is a crazy hippy and also refuses to see the film, but there I go arguing with myself again. 'Graphic novel' is a phrase that was created so grown men don't feel embarrassed about buying comic books. I'm never embarrassed that I bought a comic book. In fact, when I bought my copy of Watchmen I also bought some Lego. I bought a front-end loader, and I built it the next afternoon. I wanted the sweet bulldozer, but it was like 50 bucks. Anyways, what the hell was I just talking about?

Have you ever noticed that people show more sympathy for animals than they do humans? Whats that all about? I bet those animal cruelty charities make more money than World Vision. Not that I'm innocent. I cried in theater when I saw I Am Legend and Will Smith had to kill his dog*. I pretty much refuse to see Marley & Me because I know the dog dies, and I don't want to cry about it. I once found the remains of a kitten who'd been run over, picked it up, and walked it all the way to the nearest park so it could have some dignity and it's final repose among the trees, instead of on the pavement. My own dog was found on the side of the road in the middle of the night. I'd never do that for a person. Just an observation.

* Wanted to make this point, but didn't want to digress from the one I was making. Wasn't Omega Man so much better than I Am Legend? Nah, just kidding. I may not have liked the ending very much, but the opening scenes of Legend definitely made you feel alone. Omega Man did have Charlton Heston though...

Anyways, this post is way too long as it is, so I leave you with this video of Jimmy Stewart reading a poem about his dog Bo, which of course made me cry.

P.S. Happy April Fools!!!

Too-Rah-Loo-Rah

2009-03-13T13:36:00.002-06:00

Dear GP Skank

2009-02-25T14:15:00.002-07:00

Yes, you, the one who looks they are wearing a cheap halloween wig that someone dipped in javex. Bleached blonde really doesn't look good on anyone, except maybe women who are already blonde. You aren't fooling anyone, your black eyebrows give you away. Also, it appears that you have styled your hair with an egg-beater.
That piercing in your face looks retarded, take it out. Why don't you get your face tattooed? Oh, because you realize it looks stupid and wouldn't want to leave it there for the rest of your life. You just like to look stupid temporarily, I see.
Showing me your cleavage won't get you anywhere. I'm not going to give you special treatment just because you leaned foreward. All you're doing is giving me a free show. Since your boobs are either fake, or you have a really expensive push-up bra, it's not really that great of a show anyways.
Your rig pig boyfriend, who most likely bought you those breasts, is a douchebag. No doubt he wears Tapout and Fox, and watches UFC religiously. You probably feel like the Queen of GP, riding around in the passenger seat of his pickup, the one with the quad in the box and the 14-inch lift. Really, all of us hate you and just think you're douchebags. Well, except for maybe other douchebags.
By the way, don't feel bad that you cheated on this man, the one who bought your boobs, while he was away at camp. Right now he's probably so coked out he forgot the hooker's name.

Best. Thing. Evar.

2009-02-12T16:37:00.001-07:00

What hath Joel wrought?

2009-02-07T02:21:00.002-07:00

Tom Waits uses twitter? That settles it, I'm signing up.

Christian Bale? Yes, he went overboard. But I have a temper, a pretty bad one at that, so I know what he was going through here. Sometimes you get so mad, and even after your brain has said 'whoa, hey buddy, time to shut up' your mouth just won't stop. You're still cool in my books, Batman. Also, it makes for a catchy tune (warning, super sweary)

Ok, so I've linked to some pretty questionable stuff in the past. This video crushes all of it. I'm 100% serious, if you are easily offended, or grossed out, or even just a normal person, DO NOT WATCH THIS. I cringe even as I link. Ladies and gentlemen, Joel Veitch's Wanky Shit Demon. God help me.

2009-01-11T15:50:00.002-07:00

Figured I better post something since we're already 11 days into the new year. Not much going on here, so take a look at all these nice photos.

2008 in Photos pt. 1
2008 in Photos pt. 2
2008 in Photos pt. 3

As well as 15 nature photographers you should know about.

MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!

2008-12-21T02:35:00.001-07:00

Merry Christmas, everyone, and a happy New Year. I'm going to try and post more often next year, since this blog is a year old and only has 40-some posts.

Lime Crush

2008-12-05T02:53:00.002-07:00

There's not a lot I can say about the current political scene in Canada that hasn't already been said. All I can say is that if there's another federal election, I'll be voting Conservative, and hoping that the rest of Canada will open their frickin' eyes and do the same. Do you really want a treasonous political party in charge of your country? Especially when they went about gaining that position of power by betraying every voter in the country? Think about it.

In relation to the last post, gasoline is now 80.4 cents/litre. I never ever thought I'd see gas prices so low again. I'm pretty sure they haven't been this low since I started driving (keeping in mind that was only a year and a half ago...)

87.4 cents/litre

2008-11-26T01:39:00.002-07:00

I never thought I'd be happy it cost $70 to fuel up my vehicle.

I've always loved music. I grew up listening to Rock'n'Roll with my dad and Country with my mom. Recently I've taken up photography, and it's pretty well consumed my life. Annie Leibovitz's exhibition American Music combines both of these things in a wonderful way. I particularly liked the photos of Johnny and June, Hank III, and The White Stripes, but they're all good photos. Annie Leibowitz has pretty much become my favrit photographer.

And my new favrit webcomic is The Gun Show. It's sweary and blasphemous and not for the faint of heart/sane of mind.

Bad Day

2008-11-12T01:48:00.004-07:00

Yesterday we had 5 goldfish, and now we're down to just 1. Most people will probably think we're foolish for getting attached to creatures known for their short lifespans. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried about it a little. It's really depressing when you do your best to make sure a fish is healthy, to watch it grow, only to get out of bed one day and see it floating at the top of the tank.

Also, my brand new camera broke and I punched a hole in my closet door. Luckily the place where I bought the camera was awesome enough to just straight up replace it for me. The door is still broke, though, and my fish are still dead, and it was still just a really shitty day.

Oh yeah, and I ran a stop sign yesterday and felt like a tool.

P.S. Yeah I realize it's shitty of me not to post for 2 weeks and then come back with this.

En Aytch Ell

2008-10-21T17:43:00.004-06:00

How many NHL franchises can you name in 5 minutes? I got 25 out of 30, which I think is pretty decent considering I only pay attention to one team (and very little attention, since they suck.) And whats with their new jerseys? My vote is that they use the vintage jersey as their primary from now on.

Anyways, many many moons ago I linked to a webcomic called FreakAngels, saying I hadn't formed a real opinion about it yet. Well I think 31 episodes is enough to form an opinion, and I have. A good opinion. I really enjoy the art, and I'm excited to see where the story is leading. So go check it out if you haven't.

If you're interested enough in my life to care what radio station I listen to, it is Rock 97.7 fm (The best new rock and killer classics!) Follow that link and you can have a listen, and even find out what's going on in my new hometown. I've met some of the DJs (Cliff Kriz and Raff Papaianni), and they're a blast. The morning show is prolly the best, but I'm never up before 11:00 anymore.

Nada

2008-10-14T14:59:00.002-06:00

Once again it's been a long-assed time since I blogged. I guess you could blame it on me not having a lot to say, but that's never stopped me before. I have been busy, but not that busy.

I Don't have much to say right now, and I've already wasted half of the day doing nothing. So I promise that I will have a new blog post 1 week from today (barring any unforeseen circumstances) with something interesting to show you or tell you.

Until then, please take a moment to browse my other blog, which is unfortunately in a state of disrepair. But at least it updates almost every day.

Sweary

2008-09-23T23:44:00.005-06:00

I keep having these really long breaks between blog updates, I guess because I've been kind of busy lately. It's been a rather long and stressful few weeks, and I'm broke as hell so that's not helping.

I don't really have much to give you guys right now. So how about a rant?

Have you heard that song "All Summer Long" by Kid Rock? What the hell is that all about? I know that most of these narrative type songs about the musician's younger days aren't true at all. But at least when the late great J.C. sings about pickin' cotton or going to jail it's plausible. Then again, he did pick cotton and go to jail (if only for a short time). Kid Rock claiming he was camping by the lake in 1989 listening to 'Sweet Home Alabama' and dreading the end of summer, however, seems much less believable. Especially since in 1989, at the age of 17, Kid Rock was signed to a RAP LABEL. I doubt he cared about "when the leaves begin to change" living in Detroit and rapping about performing oral sex.
The girl in the video for the song, supposedly aged 17, looks like a prostitute. In fact all of the 'teenage' girls in the video seem really oversexualized, never mind the boatload of strippers that mysteriously appears in the video. Is there a Kid Rock video that doesn't have strippers in it?
All of this would probably piss me off less if he wasn't taking some seriously good rock songs and butchering them. I don't care if Lynyrd Skynyrd approves, or the estate of Zevon. Those are awesome specimens of PURE rock, and they've been hacked apart to be used by some no-talent jerk. Seriously? Who rhymes "things" with "things"? In the chorus of the fucking song?! GAH!
Okay, cooling off now. Kid Rock, You are not from the south. You are not a Rock & Roll Jesus. I don't care how much Hank Williams Jr. likes you, you aren't a cowboy, or a rebel. In the words of Hank Williams III;
"Just so you know, so it's it's set in stone, Kid Rock don't come from where I come from: Yeah, it's true, he's a Yank, he ain't no son of Hank: If you even thought so, god-damn, you're fucking dumb."

And so I will leave you with a real rock song, as written by one of the best rock bands ever, performed by a real rock band (and a modern rock icon).

One Star At A Time

2008-09-07T01:15:00.004-06:00

I guess it's been a while since I updated. Been busy, you know how it is. I've pretty well clinched a job at a Casino, though, which is pretty exciting. I'll be gettin' my dough from the High-Rollers, bonafide hustlin'. Pfft, yeah right. Still pretty stoked about it though. Apparently the tips are mad money.

Say you're involved a sword fight. What are you fighting with? Swords, of course. How about a gunfight? Guns seem like the most reasonable answer. A fistfight? Must be fists. So what were these guys fighting with, and how did someone lose a hand?

Hexiom Connect has stolen my soul! I'm not even joking. I see it when I close my eyes at night. Play, but be warned.

I'm sure by now everyone has heard of the Reel Geezers. I found them a few weeks ago but forgot to mention them. I absolutely love their perspective on modern movies, and it's funny how sometimes their opinions echo my own. I particularly enjoyed their critique of Superbad, but all of their stuff is pretty good, so go check 'em out.

And speaking of movies...

Pineapple Express (2008)
I pretty well loved this film. Most of the stuff that Judd Apatow has been involved with is pretty funny stuff, but none of it has made me laugh like the first 40 minutes of this movie. Seth Rogan, appearing here as Dale, is as funny as always. I've never seen James Franco in anything but a serious role, so I was a little worried about his performance in this movie. Thankfully he surprised me and was totally convincing and hilarious as perma-fried dope dealer Saul. My favourite part was probably the fight between Dale, Saul, and Red (played by Danny McBride). As far as plot is concerned, it got a little stupid towards the end, and if you don't like drug humour you're gonna hate this. Also it was a little violent, a lot more than I expected. But It was funny all the way through, and I really recommend that you see this flick.
(My Rating - 4 out of 5)

I'm going to end today's post with a video. Any Canadian should know these guys, but I was shocked to discover I don't actually own anything by them. Here's "Bobcaygeon" by The Tragically Hip. I remember hating this song when I was a kid. Kind of funny how your tastes mature with you... If you like this, and you've never heard it before, check out their song "Ahead By A Century"

P.S. I've uploaded a bunch of pictures on my Flickr account that I'm rather proud of, but won't be appearing on the other blog. Please, go have a look at them. It will make me feel good.

As Much As I Ever Could

2008-08-26T22:57:00.004-06:00

I was watching COPS earlier this evening and this guy who had been shot exclaimed "This is all because of that bitch!" as he helped an EMT apply a bandage to the bullet wound in his own head. As I type this, I realize it doesn't seem as funny, but at the time I laughed like a fool.

Since I started my daily picture project I've begun to appreciate fine photography (and photography in general) a lot more. Brian has a photoblog called A Bag of Rocks. Brian takes pictures with his cellphone. Some of Brian's cellphone pictures are better than anything I've ever taken. Follow that link to see Brian's work, and maybe drop him an email and tell him to update.

Continuing on the subject of photography, Dark Roasted Blend is full of weird and wonderful things including some amazing photographs, but this collection of spiderwebs in particular caught my attention.

Last but not least in the vein of photography is Sexy People. I think it's inevitable that people will laugh at today's portraits in the future. I already regret my hair/clothes/smile in some of my school pictures. But who cares? That's the future. And god put goofy looking people on this earth to make us laugh.

Actually, one more thing that kind of fits in this category. MSN just did one of those 'Celebrities Then & Now' deals. I really liked the baby picture of John Travolta. And could they have used a more Jail-Bait picture of Brooke Shields? Holy Hell!!!

In the words of the b3tard who posted it, It's Intensely Annoying Japanese Game Time! "This Will Frustrate All!"

Does this belong in the photography category? I'unno. It's fun, at any rate. Cake Wrecks is a blog of cakes made by professionals, all of which are crappe. Look for the one designed by Malki ! though, it's a gooder.

Book review time! I decided I'd better read a book before I forgot how, so I went for the old standby, Stephen King.

Needful Things by Stephen King (1991)
The standard King fare, small-town goings-on and evil-doings, but fun to read, which is why I keep going back to him. Not my favourite novel by far, not even close to my favourite King novel (that title belongs to 'Salem's Lot, one of the only pieces of literature which scared the bajeezus out of me). I suppose the 'main protagonist' would be Sheriff Alan Pangborn (like most of his work the narrative comes from a number of viewpoints) but I didn't particularly like his portion of the narrative. Really, I preferred the Barney Fife-esque deputy Norris Ridgewick. I also enjoyed the character Leland Gaunt, the main antagonist. He had some really great dialogue, much of which was hilarious and totally inappropriate to repeat here. Overall the plot was good, I liked the idea of Mr. Gaunt playing the townspeople against each other, but I think his omnipotence was a little overplayed. I also didn't like how, as soon as he was defeated, the spell was lifted and everything sort of went back to normal. I found that a little bit 'fairy-tale-ish'.
(My Rating - 3 out of 5)

Now how about a movie review?

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)
The first Hellboy film is one of my favourite movie adaptations of a comic book*, and I was told that the 2nd installment was even better. Frankly, I was disappointed. I actually considered walking out of the theater a few times. I guess I'm glad I didn't, but I still wouldn't say I liked this movie. Some parts were actually good. I liked the scene where Red (as portrayed by Ron Perlman) battled the Forest Elemental. The conflict of emotions (destroy the elemental, the last of its kind, to save both loved ones and strangers) was something you don't usually see in a flick like this. I also enjoyed the Angel of Death, not the scene itself, but the depiction of Death Personified. Visually speaking this movie was actually quite astounding. I liked most of the characters in this movie, including new additions Johann Krauss (whom I just learned was voiced by Seth MacFarlane) and Prince Nuada (but whats with the creepy incest vibe regarding his sister Nuala?). However, I wouldn't say that the characters and the handful of good scenes made up for the crappe. Such as the Troll Market. Mos Eisley Cantina anyone? That goblin dude with no legs was ridiculous too.
*(I have decided to no longer use the phrase 'Graphic Novel').
(My Rating 2 out of 5)

Heck, I'm on a roll here. Let's end with an album review.

Bring Me Your Love - City And Colour (2008)
If you've never heard anything by City and Colour, please make an effort to do so. Dallas Green (city and colour, get it?), also of Alexisonfire, has a really awesome voice. He's the only reason my wife agreed to see Alexisonfire in concert. Anyways, I've already listened to this more than Green's last release, Sometimes (2005). A lot of people I've discussed the album with complained about its low production quality, but the fact that it sounds like a basement recording is part of why I find it so endearing. There's not a track on this album I don't like, but I really enjoy "Sleeping Sickness?", featuring Gord Downie of The Tragically Hip. "Against The Grain" is also nice, and has a folksy, Bob Dylan-esque vibe. Really, it's all good. This album has a really great, mellow vibe. If you just feel like chilling out, put this CD on and burn some incense and watch your goldfish swim around or something. Keep in mind, it's not exactly a 'pick-me-up' album. My wife made me switch CD's the other day because this was 'too sad'.
(My Rating - 4 out of 5)

bing bong

2008-08-20T22:31:00.002-06:00

So I'm back. From outer space? Anyways, we now have Internet access at the new place, so updates will continue at their regular rate. As for now, just a short update to tell you that I survived my wedding. It couldn't have gone better (except for the trains going by during the ceremony). everything actually went according to plan, there were no fistfights, and no one had to call an ambulance. I managed to not get terribly drunk, though I did split a bottle of zinfandel with my 85 year-old grandmother. Eventually I should have some pictures to show you.

That's all for now. Expect the usual fare next week.

Until then, keep your stick on the ice.

!

2008-08-08T22:01:00.003-06:00

I Still exist! I may be updating again in the next week, but chances are slim. Regular updates should resume in the begining of next month. I'm getting married on the 16th, wish me luck!

P.S. The photoblog is updated, please go check it out.

TLDR

2008-07-28T03:17:00.008-06:00

On Saturday, July 26th, I attended the Monsters of Rock music festival, at McMahon Stadium in Calgary. Okay, I hadn't slept in 36 hours by the time the concert ended. It was a 5 hours trip there and a 5 hour trip home. We waited at the gates for an hour and a half. The tickets were shitty and we were in the nosebleeds. I ended up with sunstroke. There was a half-hour line-up for any sort of food or drink. Water cost $4. There were chronic technical problems on stage. We got lost leaving the city.

And it still. Effin'. Rocked.

Here is my ranking of the bands.
Zimmer's Hole - (1 out of 5) No wonder they were the opening band. The lead singer dressed-up like Satan. If Satan was going to start a metal band, wouldn't the rest of the band be demons, instead of dudes in Black Sabbath t-shirts? He also wore a vagina costume at one point, that pretty much sealed the deal.
Priestess - (2.5 out of 5) I'd really like to give these guys a better rating because I love 'em and was eager to see them (and they're Canadian). But the truth is their sound quality sucked hard. I was still pleased that they played their best tunes, though ("Lay Down", "Two Kids", "I Am The Night, Colour Me Black").
3 Inches of Blood - (4 out of 5) Plain awesome. I don't know many tunes by these guys, but I was totally stoked to hear their song 'Deadly Sinners'. They did not disappoint. Their lead singer has a wikkid voice, and we probably pissed off all of our neighbors trying to sing along. Arguably one of the better sets all day. Also, they're Canadian.
Testament - (2.5 out of 5) An okay act, but they didn't really show me anything to separate them from half the bands that sounded the same.
Voivod - (n/a) I didn't actually watch these guys. I was starting to suffer from sunstroke by the time they came on. I really had no interest, so I skipped them to find some shade. Judging by the muffled sounds that drifted towards me, I don't think I really missed much.
Shadows Fall - (3 out of 5) Another decent act that didn't suck but didn't do much to impress me. The lead singer has dreads that reach the floor, though. That's pretty impressive.
Cavalera Conspiracy - (3.5 out of 5) From Brazil, and comprised of former members of Sepultura. Not really that unique when compared to other acts of the day, but they put on a good show. And hey, metal sounds cool when it's sung in Portuguese.
Hatebreed - (4 out of 5) Surprisingly good. Like all modern heavy metal a lot of their songs sounded the same, but they put on a good show. Their lead singer, whose name I'm not interested enough to look up, really got the crowd involved and seemed to be having a good time.
Serj Tankian - (4 out of 5) I've seen Serj before with System of a Down. He has an awesome stage presence, and sang the song I wanted to hear ("Sky Is Over"), so that was good times. Unfortunately, his set was also plagued by sound problems, which is a real bummer with a vocals driven act like this. I will forever remember Serj, decked out in a top hat and Hawaiian shirt, chanting "PRAISE the Lord! Pass the ammunition."
Judas Priest - (4 out of 5) Pioneers of heavy metal, classic rock gods. Why didn't they getter a higher rating? It's partially my fault. The sunstroke was kickin' in pretty good by this point. Combine that with the fact I hadn't slept the night before, and the fact that I don't really know many of their songs, so I spent most of the set sitting down and actually fell asleep at one point. They do, however, have an awesome stage show (at one point including a motorcycle), and know how to get the crowd going. I had to laugh when Rob Halford was encouraging women to take off their tops for the camera (Look him up if you don't see why that's funny).
Ozzy Osbourne - (5 out of 5) How could I give the Ozzman a lower rating and feel good about myself? Besides that, he deserves it. This is the second time I've seen Ozzy in concert, and if anything it was better this time around. I'm still amazed at how much of a showman he is at his age. He could easily get away with standing in one spot and not even pretending to be having have fun (and fans would still probably pay to see him), but he runs and jumps around like a madman. It was a long set as well, which seems unusual in these days. We actually started leaving before the 2nd encore because we honestly though he was done playing.
Zakk Wylde, Ozzy's lead guitarist, is never a disappointment to see live. I know not everyone agrees with me on this, but he is arguably one of the best guitarists ever.
At one point, Ozzy says "You wanna hear a Black Sabbath song?" Crowd goes wild, as if he needed to ask. So I'm expecting "Iron Man" or "Paranoid". No. Even better. "Warpigs". I was so happy I nearly cried. I have now heard the song, as sung by the man.

On top of all that throw in a bunch of half-naked chicks and metal-heads. That, my friends, is a good frikkin' day.

Now for some movie reviews. What, you thought I was done? (beware of spoilers)

The Dark Knight (2008)
One of those movies that actually live up to the hype. Christian Bale, whom I'm sure I mentioned I love before, is probably the best Batman/Bruce Wayne so far. Heath Ledger is absolutely frightening as The Joker. I seriously found him to be disturbing, something that has never happened before with an action movie villain. I was sort of (pleasantly) surprised to see the character of Two-Face/Harvey Dent, as portrayed by Aaron Eckhart. I knew Dent was going to be in the movie, I just figured they were setting him up as Two-Face for a future sequel. Maggie Gyllenhal didn't make me hate the character of Rachel Dawes any less. In fact, she just seems more bitchy, and at one point I loudly exclaimed "God I hope she dies in this movie!". And then she did. And I didn't feel bad about it. Gary Oldman, Michael Caine, and Morgan Freeman all deserve mention for their acting, all of which was top notch. I found Oldman's Jim Gordon a lot easier to like in this flick. My only real complaint is that Batman himself barely seems to be in this movie, but maybe it just seems like that because the Joker pretty well steals the show. Better than Batman Begins (2005), not as good as Iron Man (2008). Actually, in the category of Superhero movies, this is probably in my top 3.
(My Rating - 5 out 0f 5)

The Incredible Hulk (2008)
"A second superhero movie!?" You say? Don't worry. This review won't be as long, frankly because the movie wasn't as good. It was better than The Hulk (2003) but that's like saying spaghetti is better than getting punched in the teeth. I liked Edward Norton as Bruce Banner/The Hulk, but then again I like him in anything. Liv Tyler looks like she's getting old don't you think? (what the hell does that have to do with the movie?) She was okay as Betsy Ross, though. Not great, but okay. I was kind of pissed off when she stopped the Hulk from killing the Abomination (as played by Tim Roth, who I also think is pretty awesome). What's with women in movies always stopping the hero from doing cool shit? The story was okay as well, and not too far fetched (as far as a movie about The Hulk is concerned), and at least this one had a Bad Guy.
(My Rating - 3 out of 5)

I'm Not There (2008)
I've never been a huge fan of Bob Dylan. Before I saw this movie I could probably name 10 songs by him, only 3 or 4 of which I liked. But regardless of whether or not you like or know Bob Dylan, this is just a well made flick. I honestly loved Cate Blanchett as Jude Quinn, a representation of young, amphetamine fueled Dylan, and would argue she is the high-point of the film. Heath Ledger and Christian Bale also gave great performances as different versions of Bob. (Honestly, what movie did you see where those guys weren't awesome?) The music was good, which I guess is to be expected in a movie about a music icon. I can't say I have much to complain about in this movie, so go watch it and decide for yourself.
(My Rating - 4 out of 5)

Enough about movies. I recently found, though I don't remember how, a site called Common Ties. It's a little hard to explain, so I think you should go check it out. I sent them a story, but haven't heard from them

Having trouble deciding if you're ready to have sex? Having difficulty explaining to your kids that it's okay to wait until they're ready? Please, have a gander at Boys and Girls: A Short Book About Choosing If and When To Have Sex. Serious, folks. I joke a lot here, but I wish I had a resource like this when I was a kid. Not that I probably would have paid attention. Like I paid attention to my parents.

So that was a pretty long post. I expect a lot of TLDR's in response to that. Well, not really in response because only like 10 people read this blog. But you catch my drift. Anyways, the reason it's so long is for one, because I actually did a lot of stuff recently. For two, I'm moving sometime this week, and don't really know when I'll be getting Internet access again. The same goes for Roundabout Expressway. I'll still be taking pictures, just don't know when I'll be getting them online. That is why I'm still awake at 5:30 AM the day after a rock festival and a 10 hour trip.
So if you don't hear from me before I move, I'll be posting again sometime after. Until then, enjoy this clip from I'm Not There. It's Jim James of the band My Morning Jacket, and members of the band Calexico performing Bob Dylan's "Goin' To Acapulco". Taken out of context, these images probably don't make much sense, and the clip is kind of crappy (whats with that skip at the end?). But it's a seriously good song, and probably one of the more emotionally moving scenes in the film.

Soy?

2008-07-21T12:42:00.005-06:00

It's been too long since I posted. Not that I have much to say, my life has been too hectic. We're in the process of moving to a different town, and that seems to be taking way more time than it should.

Despite my busy schedule, I took some time to check out the Grande Prairie Street Performers Festival, photos of which can be seen at my flickr account. Also went to see the horses, didn't have enough money to make the minimum two dollar bet, but still enjoyed it. Basically, I had more fun in one day, and for free, than I have in a long time.

Speaking of flickr, enjoy this sweet search toy that gives you flickr pictures based on colours you select. Found via b3ta.

Y'all should take some time to see "Electro Gypsy" by Weebl. It takes a while to load and it's kind of long and repetitive, but I likes it.

I think that's all for now. I dunno. Do you have anything to add? Oh. Okay. Next time. Till then enjoy "Loser" by Beck. I know, oldschool right? I forgot how awesome this song was, then I heard it on the radio yesterday.

Edit: Oh yeah, I saw American Gangster. It was awesome. Have you seen it yet? You should. I also watched Casino all the way through for the first time last night. You should see that one too. Both good movies if you're into crime flicks.

Happy Birthday, Kevin Bacon

2008-07-08T14:40:00.003-06:00

Don't ask me how I found this.

Shameless plug for my photo project, Roundabout Expressway...

and then a movie review.

Be Kind Rewind (2008)
I read a bunch of reviews for this movie before I saw it. Once I saw it, it pretty much just confirmed that "real" movie critics have no idea what they're talking about. Sure it was hokey and far-fetched. But it's a feel-good, funny, effin' good movie. I may be biased because this was directed by the same fella who directed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (one of my all time favourite flicks), but I really don't know how anyone could hate this film. Jack Black is awesome as Jerry, perhaps more awesome than usual. I haven't seen much else with Mos Def, but he seemed to be a pretty decent actor, and Danny Glover is as good as ever (but holy crap is he getting old!). Anyways, hilarious movie, go see it, you will enjoy it. If you don't, there's something wrong with you.

I watched Hellboy again as well, so I'm totally stoked for Hellboy II: The Golden Army. I also watched Batman Begins again, so I'm totally stoked for Dark Knight.

Eh?

2008-07-01T11:20:00.002-06:00

Happy Canada Day Everyone. I will be celebrating by jumping in the river and not getting out until the fireworks.

Speaking of fireworks, I'm going to attempt to get pictures of them tonight. So if you're paying any attention to Roundabout Expressway, don't expect today's picture until tomorrow.

Until next time, please enjoy this fun little physics game, found via Neatorama.

Also, check out this Canadian Music Mashup. Some parts aren't so great but it's pretty neat. I Particularly enjoyed the end, with Arcade Fire fading into a Metric/Billy Talent combo.

Blondebeard

2008-06-25T12:17:00.006-06:00

Someone got fired from their job this week. And I'll give you three guesses who. I don't want to get into it. Let's just say it was only partly my fault, I don't entirely blame my boss, and a certain someone can go fuck themselves.

So I guess I'm moving away sooner than I expected. Oh yeah, I was moving after the wedding. Didn't I tell you? Oops.

Everyone should check out Katy Perry. Particularly her songs "I Kissed A Girl" and "Ur So Gay". She's been called 'a skinny Lilly Allen and a Fat Amy Winehouse', which is a shit comparison in my mind because those two artists are nothing alike, and why should we care about the physical when it comes to music? That being said, she's also somewhat attractive.

This fella gave his 3 year old son a camera and loosed him upon the world. A lot of the pictures are what you'd expect from a 3 year old, but a few of them are better than anything I've ever taken. Cool for him, makes me feel like a complete failure. Anyways, go check out My Kid Took These.

tccandler.com has compiled a list of The 100 Best Movie Posters of All Time. I don't agree with some of these picks, nor have I seen all of these movies, but it's a pretty good list I suppose.

And speaking of movies, lets end this with a review. Yes, lets.

Blackbeard (2006 TV)
Starring Mark Umber's teeth as Lt. Robert Maynard, Jessica Chaistain as his love interest, and Angus MacFadyen as the only good part of this made for TV abortion. Holy crap was this bad. Like, seriously. The plot was awful, the effects were awful, and the acting was extremely awful. Even the music was awful. As I mentioned, Angus MacFadyen's portrayal of Blackbeard was the only thing that made this movie worth watching, and makes me wonder why he isn't in more movies these days (Saw III and IV don't count because they're not real movies, even compared to this steaming pile of awful)
(My Rating - 1 out of 5)

P.S. - Play Dinorun

Polyvinyl Conspiracy.

2008-06-16T16:45:00.005-06:00

Have you heard that PVC shower curtains are bad for you? Ignore it. Seriously, it's bullshit. Normally I don't buy into 'conspiracy theories', but every year they come up with something new that's going to kill you (and usually it fades into obscurity within another year). I remember when I was a kid and they said hotdogs cause cancer.
This isn't the 1800's people, it's the modern world. It's not like we're using heroine to make our kids calm down. There are people that safety test this stuff, they don't just throw it on the market for us to use. Until someone I personally know gets cancer from eating a hotdog and talking on their cellphone and showering, I'm going to keep doing all three.
(In my mind I'm arguing with myself 'You don't know anyone who died of falling off a cliff, so are you going to go do jumping jacks near a ravine?' 'SHUT UP BRAIN!')

The video for "Weighty Ghost" by Wintersleep, which I linked a while back, has won an MMVA for Best Independent Video. This pleases me.

Edit: Oh yeah. What's with the president of Afghanistan threatening to invade Pakistan? The only reason he has a damned country is because of the coalition. If he wants to go invading, I say Canada should get the hell out, let them fight their own damn war.

Darkness in the Boy

2008-06-09T19:13:00.016-06:00

Fellow amateur photographers may find this interesting:

DES MOINES, Iowa - He spent his entire savings of $12.50 on the 35 mm Argus AF camera in 1939 and for four years documented life in the small Iowa town of Ridgeway. But it wasn't until he was diagnosed with cancer more than 60 years later that Everett Kuntz actually printed the more than 2,000 snapshots

(link to full story)

And speaking of photography, have you seen my daily photoblog? You really should check it out, and make me feel good about myself.

I watched some movies yesterday. Let me tell you about them.

Kung Fu Panda (2008)
I liked it. It was clean and funny and it had talking animals and kung fu. I had a good time trying to guess which actor was voicing which character. And it made me feel good about being tubby. My only complaint is that the Furious Five didn't get enough screen time. That's... about all I can say about it. Really. That's how good it was. No, I'm serious. Go watch it.
(My Rating - 4.5 out of 5)

The Prestige (2006)
I've seen it before, but you don't know that. And it makes more sense the second time around. This is really a wonderfully made film. I may not have been alive in 1899, but the costumes and sets seriously convinced me that this was taking place at the turn of the century. I love Christian Bale, I love Hugh Jackman, and I love Michael Caine. Um, as actors of course. I was also pleased with The Veloceraptor, ahem, David Bowie's cameo as Tesla. I only had one real problem with this film... how can Michale Caine and Christian Bale, both born in the UK, have such horrible British accents? And as I mentioned, the story can be a bit confusing. Just watch closely, and you'll figure it out.
(My Rating - 4 out of 5)

That's all for now. I always start these posts off thinking I have a million things to tell you, then I either forget it all, or realize there's not much to say anyways. I'm going to start writing down the interesting things I see/think of during the day, and keep a separate folder for interesting websites.

P.S. I couldn't think of a clever title for this weeks post. So I found a random title generator. I wouldn't normally do this, but the post is kind of long and I'm not in the mood for being clever. 'Darkness in the Boy' was one of the titles it gave me. I was amused.

Trippy, dude.

2008-06-02T20:19:00.003-06:00

First off, I know everyone and their dog has linked this video. But I effing lurve it.

I had a very good weekend, despite getting bit by a dog whose life I was trying to save. I got to ride a donkey, so that pretty well made up for it. All of the pictures from the weekend can be seen at my Flickr Photostream.

I think that's all for now. Join me next week when I discuss the finer points of the Reagan/Thatcher alliance.

Pfft, Yeah right, I don't even discuss current politics here.

Shrug

2008-05-26T21:57:00.007-06:00

Holy crap, it's me!

Sorry about the huge gap between posts, kind of had some personal stuff to deal with. Notice the changes? Like the changes? Let me know.

Been a fair bit of stuff going on in my life since last post, too much to fit in one post. So either I'll tell you about it later, or I'll forget.

I Don't really feel like doing any real reviews, so here's an abridged version. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull sucked. No Country For Old Men is awesome, totally deserving of the Oscar. Um... I'm sure I've seen more movies than that in the past month and a half... Oh well. Music! The new-ish album Runnin' Wild by Airbourne has an awesome AC/DC-esque sound that you should enjoy if you like good rock'n'roll

I've started a daily Photoblog called Roundabout Expressway. Make me happy and go check it out.

That's all for now. I thought I had a lot more to say, but I guess not. I leave you with a rather cheesy video for "Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast" by Airbourne, and the promise of much photography and bloggery to come.

Edit: P.S. Oh yeah, Iron Man was really frickin' good.

Who are you people?

2008-04-16T23:15:00.002-06:00

Seriously? Not much to report this week, except that Monkey Fluids by Josh is shutting down. Tragedy. Also, check out this 8 page story by Malki !

Scratch the Itch

2008-04-09T20:13:00.003-06:00

Do you ever have those dreams that are really intense? They feel so real, that when you wake up you're like "How is that not real?" Yeah, I had one of those last night. Left me in a weird mood all day.

I bought a new CD. Wanna hear about it? Sure you do.

Neverending White Lights - Act II: The Blood and the Life Eternal
Daniel Victor returns with an ensemble cast, and a pretty good followup to Act I: Goodbye Friends of the Heavenly Bodies. Once again, this isn't your head-bangin' type of music. All songs are pretty chill, definitely something to listen to if you are in a mellow mood and want to relax. Or are feeling in love. Or maybe out of love? My favourite tracks are 'The World is Darker' featuring Auf Der Maur (probably the hardest rocking song on the whole album), and 'Black is the Colour of My True Love's Heart' featuring Lexi Valentine (of Magneta Lane, and whose voice I have absolutely fallen in love with). Is it odd that both of my favourite tracks feature a female singer?
(My rating - 3.5 out of 5)

What else? Oh yes. Movies.

Semi-Pro (2008)
As my good friend Nick put it 'An excuse for Will Farrell to swear a lot'. So true. It was funny, but not great. Will Farrell was his usually sweary, overacting, showboating self (just the way we like him) but to tell the truth he was something of a minor character. I would say Woody Harrelson was the real star of this picture, with Andre Benjamin in a surprisingly well acted supporting roll. Once again I was pleased to see Will Arnett in a supporting roll. Even my fiancee exclaimed "GOB is in this movie!"
(My Rating - 2.5 out of 5)

Drillbit Taylor (2008)
I liked this one better than some Owen Wilson vehicles, but it wasn't as funny as I had hoped. There were some funny parts, some stupid funny parts, and some stupid stupid parts. Not much to say other than that. My main complaint is that the character of Drillbit claimed to hate violence, but at the end of the film ended up beating the shit out of some dude. Not that I didn't enjoy seeing that dude get beat up, he was an asshole through the movie and I just wanted to run up to the screen and headbutt him. But I think they should have followed through on the 'Violence doesn't solve anything' theme.
(My Rating - 2 out of 5)

Um... lemme see. Oh yeah! Zombie Hand!

Zombie Hand, you ask? Well, I decided I wanted to make a plaster cast of my hand. So I bought a kit and was ready to make a perfect replica of my beautiful and dexterous right hand. Turns out I suck. I let the casting material to solidify too much before putting my hand in, so all of the air that went in with my hand never came out. I realized my mistake at once, but decided to go through with it and pour the plaster. Six hours later I attempted to extract the hand. And promptly broke 2 fingers from the casting. And so I am left with a lumpy, 3 fingered hand. But I've decided to keep it, and paint it, and call it Zombie Hand. I considered maybe leaving it sticking out of a fresh grave at the cemetery, but then I remembered it has (most of) my damned fingerprints. Duh. Anyways, that's the story of Zombie Hand.

That's all for now. Next up? A normal cast of my hand.

P.S. I've actually talked to Daniel Victor via message boards. Yeah that's right. I'm bragging about Internet contact with someone who is barely famous, and only in Canada

Tastes Like Happy

2008-04-02T19:32:00.006-06:00

I bought 2 new Albums this week. Please, read my opinions.

Rasputina - Oh Perilous World
Awesome. Awesome, awesome, and awesome. I've always loved the inclusion of classical instruments in modern music, and Rasputina has never disappointed me. Melora Creager is the Queen of Cello-Rock, and she maintains her throne on this album. At first I thought Rasputina had decided to add a guitar player to their line-up, but it was just some insane cello work by Melora. Jonathon TeBeest's drums are super heavy on some tracks, so this album has a seriously wikkid sound. My favourite tracks? "1816, The Year Without a Summer", and "Choose Me For a Champion", which sounds almost like it could be a White Stripes tune. Oh heck, I really liked "Draconian Crackdown" too. My only complaint? Too much Spoken Word. Like all good bands, Rasputina has matured, so those who fell in love with their darker (read: goth) sound of olde may not like this album. Anyone who likes good music will love it.
My rating - (4.5 out of 5)

Bullet For My Valentine - Scream Aim Fire
Not a bad album. I don't know much about these guys, so I can't ramble about them as much as I did Rasputina, but this is a pretty solid effort in my opinion. Good guitar work, some pretty decent vocals, fast and heavy drums. I particularly enjoyed the title track. The only problem I have with this album is the same problem I have with most heavy metal; it all sounds the same.
(My Rating - 3 out of 5)

I haven't actually done anything worth talking about since last post, sorry. But I promise, I'm working on something quite cool. For now, enjoy Rasputina's "1816, The Year Without a Summer". This is only about a half of the song, with a video made by Dame Darcy.

Have You Seen My Ghost?

2008-03-27T19:13:00.003-06:00

I am addicted to this song.

And now you are too!

Most who are acquainted with me know I love all things old fashioned. I am a little obsessed with Victoriana. So Madame Talbot's Victorian Lowbrow, coupled with my inability to save money, are something of a bad combination. Bad in that I love her stuff. Go check out her stuff, It's all good. Her posters are my favourite. I bought this one as sort of an engagement present to myself.

That's all for now. I have some plans for fun stuff this weekend, so next post I will maybe have something to talk about.

Blarg Blog

2008-03-20T18:54:00.004-06:00

Okay so I haven't worked on my novel in like 3 weeks. Go figure. I sometimes wonder, when Stephen King is starting a new novel does he ever just stop and go "Oh my god, this f*cking sucks!" and quit for a month at a time? I also haven't READ a book in like 3 weeks which may have something to do with it. I seem to write better when I'm reading something else.

I haven't gotten anywhere with my comic either. I haven't decided if I want to continue on with Inadvertently Productive, my first webcomic, or try something totally different. I'm also having trouble with my drawing skillz. I can draw something really wikkid, but if I try and repeat it looks like a bucket of horrible.

Aren't you glad you read this blog now? Didn't it make you feel good? Gah. I'm useless.

See this is why I need to do something cool with this blog. No one wants to read about some dude complaining about how he can't draw. Like, seriously, wtf? I dunno. I'll try and have something better for you next week.

For now, go read Beard Revue. If you love having a beard as much as I do, or just love beards, you'll love this blog.

P.S. Holy crap, who else was hungover on Tuesday? Seriously, I'm petitioning to get St. Patrick's day established as a federal holiday. If Newfoundland gets it, why not the rest of Canada?

Dudishly

2008-03-16T19:12:00.003-06:00

Huzzah, my tablet has arrived! I'm still trying to get used to holding a pen for long periods of time again, but i think I actually draw better with the tablet than I do on paper. Pretty much as soon as I'm done this post I'm going to start working on ideas for a new webcomic.

Movie Review Time!

Horton Hears a Who! (2008)
A really good movie for kids, with a few jokes aimed at adults that weren't inappropriate for kids either. The advances in computer animation continue to amaze me. I remember when Toy Story came along and it was the most advanced thing we'd ever seen, but this makes it look like Steamboat Willie. Jim Carrey, Steve Carrel, and Carrol Burnett, were brilliant as the lead characters, but I was particularly pleased that Will Arnett made an appearance as a Slavic vulture. This is an all around good family movie, and I highly recommend you see it.
(My rating - 4 out of 5)

I've decided this blog needs to be more than a diary, or the occasional movie review. I will continue to share things I find, and tell you about my life, and review movies. But if I want to get noticed, I need to have something that will draw people's attention. Like that guy who takes a picture of the sky from his balcony every day, or that blog about the puddle. I haven't any ideas for that yet either, but the decision has been made that something must be done. Any suggestions?

So what's the deal with Tibet?... Yeah I have no idea what's going on over there, sounds like a bunch of madness but I figured I'd better make sure people new I still pay SOME attention to the outside world.

P.S. Really, I don't pay attention to the outside world.

P.P.S. "Dudishly - In the manner of a dude." I found it in the scrabble dictionary last night.

Tagged

2008-03-09T13:28:00.004-06:00

I have a new tattoo. On something of a whim I decided to get "Est. 1986" on the underside of my left forearm. I know it's a pretty serious whim, considering I now have ink that's visible in a t-shirt, but I'm totally happy with it. And it never won't be true. Unless I was actually born in 1985, which would really suck. Anyways, this now brings my collection of tattoos to 4 pieces. I have the word "Sinner" on my left bicep (from my more rebellious days, though I don't regret it); a pair of dice, each showing one pip, and the words "Snake Eyes" underneath in my own cursive; and a Sailor Jerry style swallow on my right shoulder (unfortunately I let this one get infected and lost a lot of ink, so I need it redone). Alas and Alack, I cannot find my digital camera, so I cannot share pictures at this time.

You may have noticed that my list of Drunks, Lovers, Sinners, and Saints has somewhat expanded. Go visit all of those links. They deserve it. I'll be talking more about some of those people I linked to in future posts as well. Also, "Drunks, Lovers, Sinners, and Saints" is the name of a song by Alexisonfire (probably my 2nd fave Canadian band), and they deserve props.

One of the new links is to Ctrl + Alt + Del by Tim Buckley. If you game, even a little, this comic will appeal to you. If you don't game, the zany humour will probably make you laugh anyways. Oooh, zany.

I also linked to Wondermark by David Malki !. Somewhat similar to Married to the Sea, to which I've linked previously, in that it uses pictures from old publications, but in strip form. I recently pre-ordered David's new book Beards of our Forefathers. It's a collection of Wondermark strips. The title is really what drew me in. There's another collection called The Annotated Wondermark, which I also plan on buying someday.

Julia Wertz, author of The Fart Party is currently out of work, so feel free to go buy some of her stuff. I just ordered the official Fart Party book. Should be a good read.

I'd like to finish this post with a movie review. So I will.

Atonement (2007)
No big surprise that this was nominated for best picture at the Oscars. No Country for Old Men must be damned good to have beat it. I seriously loved this movie. Acting was great, story was great, soundtrack was great. It was visually quite beautiful. There was only one scene I didn't like, which turned out to be like a dream-sequence anyways. Probably the best scene in the movie was the 5-minute-long shot of the Evacuation of Dunkirk. That one took some organization. Seriously, this is just a really well made movie, I don't even want to describe it anymore for fear of spoiling it. Don't go see this movie expecting a happy ending, but please go see it.
(My rating - 4.5 out of 5)

Superdesirously

2008-03-03T21:32:00.003-07:00

I found some new webcomics this week, starting with The Fart Party, which is very sweary and vulgar but I love it to death and it makes me want to start making comics again (more on this later). I also found xkcd which is very wordsy and poignant but also pretty fun at the same time, especially for nerds like myself. Last but not least is FreakAngels which is actually like a "real" serial comic rather than the usual strips I read. The art is really impressive, but I'm waiting on the story to progress before I make a decision on it.

Back to me returning to the webcomic world... I bought a Wacom CTE450K Bamboo drawing tablet off of eBay last night. EBay wasn't my first choice because things I order from eBay shops have a habit of not showing up/showing up damaged. But as it turns out, Amazon.com doesn't want to ship electronics to Canada, and most of the other stores were charging an exorbitant price. So eBay it is. Anyhow, I want to draw again. So somehow I have to fit drawing, writing, working, and becoming a millionaire rock star into my schedule. Be prepared.

I took part in the democratic process today. My party won. Go figure. There's only been a conservative government in Alberta since 1921. Of course people are complaining, but clearly these people are wrong and have no idea what they're talking about. In all seriousness, I don't like to tell people what to believe. I just don't see how anyone in Alberta could vote anything except Progressive Conservative. I know it's sort of like voting for the lesser evil... but why would you WANT to vote for the worse?

That's all I can think of, so have a good night.

P.S. The title? Oh. I just liked the word.

Shrimp Cake

2008-02-27T19:50:00.003-07:00

So apparently, Adolf Hitler made little watercolour paintings of a number of Disney characters. And they just found them. And people are all in a tizzy. And I'm thinking... who the hell cares?

Also, I just started 3 sentences in a row using 'and'. Go on, correct my grammar. Do it. Oh that's right you can't, because I beat you to it.

As you may have noticed, I don't have much to say right now. I've been playing too many video games, or reading Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series to actually find/do anything interesting to tell you about. But I figured I'd better post since it's been like 2 weeks, and I know the 5 or 6 people who read this blog were worried about me. (I just started a sentence with "but"!)

Oh, I've been looking at funny pictures over at collegehumour.com. That's always a good time, though it makes me regret not going to college. Anyways, if you're bored, go look at funny pictures and have fun.

Web Log No. 13, In Which Videos Are Shared

2008-02-17T00:24:00.009-07:00

I Have 2 videos I'd like to share with you.

The first is "What's a Girl to Do?"by Bat for Lashes.

Second, Buck 65's "Devil's Eyes". This is from his album Secret House Against the World, which was more singin' than rappin'.

I wish more videos were like this. I'm more of an "artsy-fartsy music video" than "ass and bling music video" kind of guy.

Enjoy!

Nobody Moves, Nobody Gets Hurt

2008-02-13T21:51:00.002-07:00

I've decided to write a novel. I won't get into the details as I'm really just working those out right now. I've tried this before but didn't have the drive to finish. I've actually had better progress with this than any other attempt, though, and it just feels... good. So keep an eye on the shelves at your local bookstore, you just might see something by Zechariah Unterberg. Oh, that's my pen name. No, not really. I just don't feel my name sounds... authorial enough to be on the cover of a book. Time will tell, I suppose.

Whats that? A movie review? Oh, if you insist.

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
If this film had starred anyone but Johnny Depp as Sweeny Todd, and been made by anyone other than Tim Burton, I probably would have hated it. Don't get me wrong, it was a good movie. It was funny and interesting, and I was never once bored while watching it. There wasn't a performance I didn't enjoy, serious props to the casting directors. I even liked Helena Bonham Carter for once, in her roll as Mrs. Lovett. And Sacha Baron Cohen, where did you come from? Even though it wasn't very serious, that guy needs to play more serious rolls.
It was visually stunning, as is to be expected with Mr. Burton's work. But the songs weren't catchy. At all. I can't imagine anyone singing along to them ever. And I do realize that, in a gothic horror, blood is to be expected (especially in a gothic horror about an insane barber). I just feel there may have been a more subtle way to depict a throat being slashed. We don't need to see it, every single time, to know that its been done. Okay, the blood is a contrast with the dark environment, we get it.
(My Rating - 2.5 out of 5)

Also, I watched Cloverfield a while back. I'm not even going to bother with a critique. As far as I'm concerned it was a protest film, against the war in Iraq. The basic message was, if the US continues to send men overseas, there will be no one around to protect the American people from giant 3-legged monsters with pulsating brains.

Hattie McDaniel 1896 - 1952

2008-02-06T18:47:00.000-07:00

Hattie McDaniel was born in Wichita, Kansas, on June 1oth, 1896. Her parents were former slaves, and she was the youngest of 13 children.
Hattie dropped out of highschool to enter showbusiness, joining her brothers Otis and Sam in her father's show, The Henry McDaniel Minstrel. In 1910 she won a gold medal for reciting a poem, in a contest in which she was the only black peformer. In 1920, after the death of her brother Otis, she joined Professor George Morrison's Melony Hounds, becoming the first black woman to sing on the radio.
While working as a washroom attendant at Club Madrid in Milwaukee she was overheard singing and, at the request of patrons, soon became a regular performer on the stage there.
She moved to Los Angeles with her brother Sam and sisters Etta and Orlena in 1931 and, with the help of her brother, once again gained employment in radio. She starred as Hi-Hat-Hattie, an outspoken housemaid on the program The Optimistic Do-Nut Hour. Her salary from the show was so low that Hattie had to work as a maid in real life.
Hattie made her big-screen debut in 1932's The Golden West, in the roll of a maid. She followed up with I'm No Angel, starring Mae West, as (you guessed it) a maid. She continued to star in small rolls until the mid-1930s. When she was criticized by the black community for continually taking the roll of a maid, she replied "I'd rather play a maid than be one"
In 1939 Hattie starred as Mammy in Gone With The Wind. She was barred from attending the premier of the film in Atlanta, Georgia, because of segregationist laws (her co-star and good friend Clark Gable refused to attend without her, until she persuaded him to go). She won the Academy Award for best supporting actress for her work in the film, becoming the first black person to win an Oscar.
Hattie continued to act in movies, still quite often as a maid, until her final film Family Honeymoon in 1949. She appeared on radio and televison programs until she became to ill to do so.
Hattie died of cancer on October 25th, 1952. Unfortunately, prejudice followed her even after death. Hollywood cemetery, where she wished to be buried, did not accept the burial of blacks at that time. Her family instead had her interred in historic Angelus Rosedale Cemetery. The current owners of Hollywood Cemetery offered to have her remains moved in 1999, but her family declined. The owners erected a cenotaph in her honour instead.
Hattie was married 4 times. Her will left exactly $1 to her ex-husband Larry Williams.
In February 2006, Hattie was featured on a United States postage stamp, wearing the dress in which she recieved her Oscar.She two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, one for her work in radio and one for her work in movies.

"Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, fellow members of the motion picture industry and honored guests: This is one of the happiest moments of my life, and I want to thank each one of you who had a part in selecting for one of the awards, for your kindness. It has made me feel very, very humble; and I shall always hold it as a beacon for anything that I may be able to do in the future. I sincerely hope I shall always be a credit to my race and to the motion picture industry. My heart is too full to tell you just how I feel, and may I say thank you and God bless you." - Hattie McDaniel's Oscar Acceptance Speach

Now, voyager, sail thy forth to seek and find

2008-01-31T22:52:00.000-07:00

Da-nah-nah-NAH! Movie Review time!

The Girl Next Door (2004)
I won't get into the plot of this one, because it's not that great. It started off okay, but wasn't nearly good enough to be as long as it seemed. I'll admit it had potential, it felt almost like it could have been directed by Sofia Coppola. However, the bare breasts and handfull of juvenile jokes are not enough to make this the Teen Comedy it was (quite erroneously) marketed as. Nor are they enough to save it. Yes, the female lead (Elisha Cuthbert as Danielle) is hot, but I really only like her because she's Albertan. Emile Hirsch's portayal of Matthew was shallow and a little annoying.
(My rating - 2.5 out of 5).

Music & Lyrics (2007)
As far as rom-coms go, this was not half bad. It was funny, which I guess is important. It also wasn't too mushy, which appeals to me. The music was also fun and catchy. I was humming the tune to "Way Back Into Love" all day at work. Hugh Grant, as washed-up pop star Alex, is his usual "charmingly befuddled" self in this flick. I find he basically plays the same character in every film, but it works so I guess thats why he sticks with it. Drew Barrymore, as Sophie, is at her best since 50 First Dates (2004). And both of them are shockingly good singers.
(My Rating - 4 out of 5)

Lady Killer (1933)
Ridiculous over-acting? Check. Melodramatic music? Check. Shakey camera work, crappy cinematography and scratchy film? Check. Blatant racism, depictions of alcohol use and smoking? Check. That settles it, a perfect example of what makes these old-timey black-and-whites so effing awesome. Also a pretty good example of 30's gangster flicks. James Cagney is at his best as Dan Quiggley, a fast talking, small-time hustler with a hankerin' for pretty girls, making money, and smacking people around. Best moment? When Cagney hauls a kicking-and-screaming Mae Clark (as Myra Gale) out of his appartment by her hair. My one complaint about this film is that the leading lady (Margaret Lindsay as Lois Underwood) almost isn't leading at all. There are so many interesting and funny characters that her character is kind of buried under all the other goings-on.
(My Rating - 3.5 out of 5)

Please Believe Me (1950)
Another oldy-but-a-goody black-and-white. The ensamble cast includes Deborah Kerr and Peter Lawford (of Rat Pack and Kennedy-in-law fame). The screwball-comedy plot is simple and funny, and with some tweaking would probably even please today's audiences. To tell the truth, I was painting while I watched this so I only caught about 50% of what was on screen, but I liked what I heard.
(My Rating - 3 out of 5)

So you maybe noticed that two of these pictures are older than your parents. That's because TCM (Turner Classic Movies) is perfect background noise for working on other projects, such as the aforementioned painting. Ain't I just cultural? Watching Alexander Nevsky and painting, it just don't get more artistical. Plus, the dames in these flicks? YOWZA!

Anyways, thats all for now. Next week, a special post for Black History Month. Am I black? Nope.

P.S. The title of this post is from a poem by Walt Whitman. I got it from the 1942 film Now, Voyager starring Bette Davis. How about them eyes?

P.P.S. Still watching TCM, and Peter Lawford just knocked a dude out for taking his picture. Sweet.

Clever Title

2008-01-28T00:22:00.000-07:00

I had planned on posting on Saturday, but ended up getting drunk in the middle of the day instead. Then today I decided to get creative, so I went and bought some acrylic paints and painted a sign for the pub that I will someday own. I also read about the American Civil War. We didn't have one of those, seems like good times though. Up next, The War of 1812, because we were actually sort of involved in that one (burned your White House down, suckas.)

On the topic of history, my new favourite video is Washington. Be warned, it's very sweary and full of references to the male anatomy, but it is effing awesome. I'm not sure who it's by, either Cox & Combs or Brad Neely. At any rate, I discovered it through B3ta. B3ta is my favourite website ever, or at least their newsletter is. They pretty much introduced me to the best parts of the Internet. Or the worst?

I don't entirely remember where I found The Do's and Don'ts With Babies, but I do know it made me laugh. Then again, when my family was passing my 4 month-old niece around the dinner table the other night, I made a joke about putting baby shavings on my meal. And that fresh cracked baby is good for your prostate. My family laughed, so I guess we're all pretty messed up.

Candidate for most hauntingly beautiful story ever, L’Inconnue de la Seine.

Candidate for WORST THING I READ TODAY (found via BoingBoing)

Candidate for the Best Google Logo Ever

The great Friends marathon is nearly finished, so maybe someday soon I'll have an album or movie review, but for now I leave you with Primitive Ways. These guys are awesome. They'll learn you how to make a bow and arrow to kill a deer, a knife to dress it, then tan its hide and make boots from the leather. So... go do that.

Rhymes with

2008-01-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

I was very saddened to hear the news of Heath Ledger's passing. He wasn't exactly my fav'rit actor, but he had something. I won't get all wishy-washy and send my condolences to his family, nor will I speculate on the how and why. I just wanted to say I'm sad about it.

Heath Ledger
April 4, 1979 – January 22, 2008

On a happier note, check this shit out! Isn't that fun? I found that at... at... hmm, I forget where. Probably Neatorama or BoingBoing, that's where I usually steal stuff from anyways. But wait, Neatorama linked to Lackadaisy Cats just a few weeks after me. Coincidence? I THINK SO!

Also, check out this collection of Cool Stuff to Stick on Your Blog, from JustSayHi.com, which seems to be an online dating site. Anyways, I figured I'd just link to the list, rather than sticking an "I SCORED THIS MANY ON A QUIZ!" in every post.

The Style

2008-01-20T02:59:00.000-07:00

Do you like Photoshop? Do you like Steampunk? Take a gander at this. Photoshoppery and steampunkery abounds. I discovered this via BoingBoing. You know BoingBoing, right?

Also, check out the Urban Legend ER, by the same folks who made 24: The Unaired 1994 Pilot. Warning: swearyness and fake blood. Found via Neatorama.

My life is consumed by wedding plans and Friends on DVD. At least we know who we're inviting and what I'm wearing. To the wedding, not to watch Friends. "She" has yet to find a dress, we have yet to chose wedding rings, we have picked out some songs for the ceremony but need to hire pipers (if we can afford them), invitations actually need to be sent, we're supposed to be getting married in my parent's back yard but they might be moving, we've chosen an MC but haven't even asked her if she wants to yet. Gah.
We've at least chosen our wedding song (like 3 years ago when "wedding" was a bad word). "Hotel Yorba" by The White Stripes from their album White Blood Cells. Which is very good, you should check that out. Actually you should check out all their stuff. It's all good, even Get Behind Me Satan which is very... plonky.

What was I talking about? I have no idea. It's 3:00 AM for for Pete's sake.

Boring Blog Bonanza!

2008-01-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Molly, of Nasty Butler fame, was kind enough to point out "adoration, adulation, affection, allegiance, amity, amorousness, appreciation, ardency, ardor, attachment," and "affection" as synonyms for "love", which had just been "affirmed". I probably should have pointed out that I hate alliteration. Absolutely.

Anyways.

"How is the writer's strike affecting you?" Well, I have to hear about it everyday, which pisses me off, because I don't care about it otherwise. But I just blogged about it, so now you have to read about it!

Well that's all I could come up with this time. So check out this new toy which I found via Neatorama. It takes some figurin', so it should keep you occupied until my next exciting post. Have fun.

Whose Tube?

2008-01-15T00:08:00.000-07:00

Well. Um. Yeah. Okay, so I realize it's pointless to blog without anything to blog about, but if I don't try and do this regularly, I'll get out of the habit and never get back in it.

So. Um. YOUTUBE COP OUT!

What? Oh. It's Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" as performed by Hurra Torpedo of Norway. I've always loved this song, and hearing it performed on kitchen appliances by hairy Norwegian men just affirmed my... love. What the hell is a synonym for love?

Muy Caliente

2008-01-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

I really am attempting to post regularly on this blog. I'd like to share all the wikkid sweet things I find, as well as the minutiae of my life. But my fiance went and borrowed the first 3 seasons of Friends on DVD, so we're watching EVERY EPISODE (lame, I know) and eating Jalapeno flavoured pistachios. They're burning death in nut form.

So until I regain control of my life, please, enjoy this little toy. Just drag the mouse to draw. You'll figure it out. I found this via Neatorama. Which, by the way is one of my fav'rit sites EVER.

What you think about that?

2008-01-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

Allow me to introduce Chris Leavins. He has a blog/internet TV show called Cute With Chris. He's a funny, funny man. Please enjoy this video, the first I have ever embeded for any reason, which stars Chris.

Isn't rap music HILARIOUS?! I will never be able to order at the bar again without asking for a draaaank.

Which reminds me. I was introduced to Cute with Chris via Drew and Natalie Dee. He writes the webcomic Toothpaste for Dinner, and she writes... well, Natalie Dee. Together they make Married to the Sea. They are quite awesome.

Blog Captain and the Blog of Today

2008-01-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

No news from me, so I thought I'd just share a few of my favourite things.

Questionable Content by Jeph Jaques is my fav'rit webcomic. Indy-music nerd love dramady. I've read every episode twice. You should too, if you're into comics, just to observe the progression of his art. I don't get a lot of the music references, but I do get the toilet humour. Anyone who has read my webcomic will notice I was muchly inspired by QC.

My other favourite webcomic is A Softer World by Emily Horne and Joey Comeau. It's not exactly funny, in the general comic strip sense, but I dig it. I've actually cried over one of these strips before. I believe that she does the pictures, and he does the words.

I'd feel bad posting this without giving props (wtf?) to my favourite Canadian webcomic, Words and Pictures by Jamie Lirette and Graham Mutch. I forget who does the words and who does the pictures.

Lastly, not my favourite webcomic, (but probably the best artistically speaking), Lackadaisy by Tracey J. Butler. Anthropomorphic cats in prohibition era St. Louis. Good stuff.

Anyways, I'm being dragged to the bar to play pool, so go check those out while I lose at 8-Ball.

P.S. I saw Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow for the first time the other day. What the hell were the filmmakers thinking? It wasn't even like, ironically good, or stupid-funny. Just tripe. Utter tripe. Don't even watch it to make fun of it. Ugh. Horrible.

Here I Go Again

2007-12-31T03:45:00.000-07:00

I have this habit of starting things and then abandoning them. I have a desk full of drawings I will never finish. I've been trying to write the "Great (Canadian?) Novel" for about 6 years now. This will be, I think, my 3rd blog. I know it's a bad idea to start something with the belief that you'll fail, but I can almost guarantee that I will abandon this blog at some point. I'm not saying "Turn back! Don't even bother with me!" I'm just saying in about a year you'll have to change your links.

So lets get down to business.

I turn 22 on January 1st. As the quarter-century mark grows ever nearer I find myself feeling very... useless. I've never been to college, I rent a shitty condo, and I don't own a vehicle. It's not like I want to jump off of a bridge, there's just a voice in my head saying "Do someshit before you die, dude! For serious." My inner monologue has horrible grammar.

Speaking of grammar, this list of Common Errors In English Usage is pretty darn useful, even for just bloggin'.

I received Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on DVD for Christmas. Oh. My. Crap. I have never had such an emotional response to a film. It is my new favourite. I loved it from beginning to end. From the the happy, tingly, newly-in-love vibe at the beginning, to the total despair and confusion Joel feels when he discovers what Clementine has done, to the slightly sappy ending. It's like the perfect bizarre analogy for any relationship.
Who hasn't wanted to forget about someone forever? Who hasn't impulsively said something horrible about someone they love? It's just the way it goes. "You only hurt the ones you love", as 'they' all too often say. I know I love my fiancee, but why do I say such awful things to her sometimes? My parents love each other, but if my mom doesn't occasionally entertain thoughts of killing my step dad, I'd be very surprised. My step grandparents are separated after 40 years of marriage. It's almost as if the very nature of Love is to fall in and out of it.
Boy did I go off track there. Anyways, Eternal Sunshine is good, even though I wept like a baby all the way through it. Watch it, enjoy it, think about it.

I bought 3 new albums yesterday. Yes, I payed for music. Anyways. I picked up Situation by Canada's (or at least my) favourite white rapper, Buck 65. I'm taking a little while getting used to it after his last album, Secret House Against The World, as it is slightly different and I fear change, but I foresee this being a CD I listen to until I'm sick of it. I strongly urge you to check out tracks 2 ("1957") and 15 ("Outskirts"), and the entire album, if you have the time.
I give it a 4 out of 5.

(P.S. Don't be scared off by the fact that I called Buck a 'rapper'. It's more like poetry-with-music than the inane gangsta garbage that is usually called rap.)

I also bought Neon Bible by The Arcade Fire (yes, I call them "The" because I like the way it sounds.) This is another one that's going to take a few more listens before I like it. Their last album, Funeral, is one of my favourite albums of all time, and this latest effort seems to be lacking something. Check out Tracks 10 ("No Cars Go") and 11 ("My Body Is A Cage").
I give Neon Bible a 3.5 out of 5.

Finally, I also bought We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank by Modest Mouse. It's decent. Not my favourite album of all time, but there's not a track on it I don't like, so I don't hate it. A pretty solid follow-up to Good News For People Who Love Bad News, which I listened to about a half a million times after I moved out of my parent's house (all of my other CDs were packed). I recommend tracks 2 ("Dashboard") , 5 ("Parting of the Sensory") and 12 ("Spitting Venom").
I give We Were Dead 3 out of 5.

That's all for tonight. This entry has taken me about 2 hours because I keep getting distracted, and I've been told I need to get up early tomorrow to go for breaky at Smitty's. Hooray for bacon.