Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Sweary

I keep having these really long breaks between blog updates, I guess because I've been kind of busy lately. It's been a rather long and stressful few weeks, and I'm broke as hell so that's not helping.

I don't really have much to give you guys right now. So how about a rant?

Have you heard that song "All Summer Long" by Kid Rock? What the hell is that all about? I know that most of these narrative type songs about the musician's younger days aren't true at all. But at least when the late great J.C. sings about pickin' cotton or going to jail it's plausible. Then again, he did pick cotton and go to jail (if only for a short time). Kid Rock claiming he was camping by the lake in 1989 listening to 'Sweet Home Alabama' and dreading the end of summer, however, seems much less believable. Especially since in 1989, at the age of 17, Kid Rock was signed to a RAP LABEL. I doubt he cared about "when the leaves begin to change" living in Detroit and rapping about performing oral sex.
The girl in the video for the song, supposedly aged 17, looks like a prostitute. In fact all of the 'teenage' girls in the video seem really oversexualized, never mind the boatload of strippers that mysteriously appears in the video. Is there a Kid Rock video that doesn't have strippers in it?
All of this would probably piss me off less if he wasn't taking some seriously good rock songs and butchering them. I don't care if Lynyrd Skynyrd approves, or the estate of Zevon. Those are awesome specimens of PURE rock, and they've been hacked apart to be used by some no-talent jerk. Seriously? Who rhymes "things" with "things"? In the chorus of the fucking song?! GAH!
Okay, cooling off now. Kid Rock, You are not from the south. You are not a Rock & Roll Jesus. I don't care how much Hank Williams Jr. likes you, you aren't a cowboy, or a rebel. In the words of Hank Williams III;
"Just so you know, so it's it's set in stone, Kid Rock don't come from where I come from: Yeah, it's true, he's a Yank, he ain't no son of Hank: If you even thought so, god-damn, you're fucking dumb."

And so I will leave you with a real rock song, as written by one of the best rock bands ever, performed by a real rock band (and a modern rock icon).

2 comments:

Nasty Butler said...

Nice, nice and nice. I love Jack Black. And that song.

And I hate Kid Rock. It's really annoying that he is now at every movie advocating the National Guard. Makes me want to puncture my eardrums and pop out my eyes.

Zakk? said...

wow, that's pretty serious. Glad I'm not alone in my hatred though.