Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Dear GP Skank

Yes, you, the one who looks they are wearing a cheap halloween wig that someone dipped in javex. Bleached blonde really doesn't look good on anyone, except maybe women who are already blonde. You aren't fooling anyone, your black eyebrows give you away. Also, it appears that you have styled your hair with an egg-beater.
That piercing in your face looks retarded, take it out. Why don't you get your face tattooed? Oh, because you realize it looks stupid and wouldn't want to leave it there for the rest of your life. You just like to look stupid temporarily, I see.
Showing me your cleavage won't get you anywhere. I'm not going to give you special treatment just because you leaned foreward. All you're doing is giving me a free show. Since your boobs are either fake, or you have a really expensive push-up bra, it's not really that great of a show anyways.
Your rig pig boyfriend, who most likely bought you those breasts, is a douchebag. No doubt he wears Tapout and Fox, and watches UFC religiously. You probably feel like the Queen of GP, riding around in the passenger seat of his pickup, the one with the quad in the box and the 14-inch lift. Really, all of us hate you and just think you're douchebags. Well, except for maybe other douchebags.
By the way, don't feel bad that you cheated on this man, the one who bought your boobs, while he was away at camp. Right now he's probably so coked out he forgot the hooker's name.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Saturday, February 7, 2009

What hath Joel wrought?

Tom Waits uses twitter? That settles it, I'm signing up.

Christian Bale? Yes, he went overboard. But I have a temper, a pretty bad one at that, so I know what he was going through here. Sometimes you get so mad, and even after your brain has said 'whoa, hey buddy, time to shut up' your mouth just won't stop. You're still cool in my books, Batman. Also, it makes for a catchy tune (warning, super sweary)

Ok, so I've linked to some pretty questionable stuff in the past. This video crushes all of it. I'm 100% serious, if you are easily offended, or grossed out, or even just a normal person, DO NOT WATCH THIS. I cringe even as I link. Ladies and gentlemen, Joel Veitch's Wanky Shit Demon. God help me.