Sunday, April 5, 2009

And so the blogger fell in love with himself.

I watched Twilight today.

It was really, really, bad. Just. Oh. So bad. Like. Well, this is more of a description of the novel than the film, but other than the horrible acting and bad special effects, it is pretty much Twilight In A Nutshell.

The acting was, indeed horrible. Kristen Stewart (as Bella Swan, a gag inducingly gothic romance inspired name) occaisionally attempts to make her "acting" seem natural by stuttering, but really it's just forced and stupid. She actually seemed to show some talent in Into The Wild (2007), so this was really just a big dissappointment on her part. Robert Pattinson, I just refer to as Edward Cullen all the time now (as in "Oh look, Edward Cullen played Cedric Diggory") because really, who the f*ck is Robert Pattinson? Anyways, Edward Cullen can't act either. Supposedly he didn't have a dialect coach to help him speak with an american accent, so maybe thats why most of the time he sounds like he's got a mouth full of marbles.

The rest of the acting was equally crappy and unmemorable. All of the other vampires just reminded me of that other abomination Queen of The Damned. What a pile of crap that was. But that's another post.

I can understand the appeal of the books and the film among 15 year old girls, because it is extremely juvenile. And girly. I just don't get how women in their 20s are falling in love with a character from a novel (who, by the way, is rather ugly in the film. I do a pretty good impression, though. I call it my 'Edward Cullen.' Brow furrowed, lips slightly parted, head tilted foreward. No real facial expression or animation. Oh yeah, thats how I gets the ladies.)

Crystal is attempting to read the series and continues to fall asleep. I got about 80 pages in before I gave up in disgust.

Watch the film if you must. Read the book, it's probably better for your brain. But be warned. Both suck. So very bad.

(My Rating of both the novel and the film - 0.5 out of 5)

1 comment:

Nasty Butler said...

Tee hee hee hee.

I believe female interest in a male character from a novel is based in one of the first romance novels where the woman wasn't horribly screwed over by the man, i.e. Pride and Prejudice.

Man there are some classics I hate.